Mad Libs – Gear review edition

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Gear reviews are by the most popular items to read on-line when it comes to outdoor pursuits.

Various forums are not really about increasing your skill set so as to carry less weight. Or what NOT to carry in terms of gear. But rather overwhelmingly what a person should buy to go outside.

And many outdoor forums are almost entirely FOR SALE or WANTED TO BUY message posts at this point.

So to get outside..buy more stuff?  I guess?

Regardless, gear reviews tend to be overwhelmingly popular.

However, have you read these gear reviews?

An popular format is followed:

  • A person gets some crap for free.
  • Sets it up on their kitchen table or backyard.
  • Maybe goes on a weekend trip.
  • Writes about it.
  • Repeats the cycle many times.
  • And then they are magically a gear and outdoors “expert”.
  • More free gear is given

I’d argue that a real review takes at least one year of regular use.

An initial overview based on experience has some merit.

But a review? Naaaah…that it ain’t.

But it is what people like and want.

And these so-called reviews? They sound almost all overwhelmingly the same.

So as to save time, I have come up with a gear review edition of the popular Mad Libs.

Read the gear version below, insert the appropriate word and you’ll have read at least 65% of the gear “reviews” from web sites, magazine and online forums that are currently available.

You now will be reading about gear less and more about skill sets to have while outdoors instead. And perhaps even getting out on a hike or two as well. 😉

Happy Trails!

–Paul Mags

mad-libs
LET’S REVIEW SOME GEAR!

in-tents-second-round-hi

Today I received a new [TYPE OF GEAR] from [COMPANY].

When I un-boxed this [TYPE OF GEAR], I was immediately impressed with the stitching and attention to detail.

[COMPANY] makes some good products and I was glad to be able to get a first look the new [BRAND] [MODEL OF GEAR] .

When [I DID SOMETHING TO IT FOR THE SETUP] in my backyard, I could not help but admire the [INSERT NAME OF SOME OVERWHELMINGLY EXPENSIVE FABRIC TYPE] and how strong it was for its weight.

The [TOTALLY UN-NEEDED FEATURE THAT IS SOMEHOW A SELLING POINT] is a nice touch and is sure to make [AN ACTIVITY DONE OUTDOORS]
more efficient.

I took out the [TYPE OF GEAR] to the  [NAME OF LOCAL DOG PARK] when it was  [DESCRIBE SOME MILD WEATHER CONDITIONS BUT MAKE IT #EPIC SOUNDING].

The  [BRAND] [MODEL OF GEAR] performed well. 

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Insert gear photo here.

I covered [NUMBER] of miles and was able to have the [TYPE OF GEAR]  [DO WHAT IT SUPPOSED TO DO ANYWAY] quite easily.

At the end of my [#EPIC] I really appreciated how well the [BRAND] [MODEL OF GEAR] held out.

At only [NUMBER] dollars, the [BRAND] [MODEL OF GEAR] is a good value.  An at [NUMBER] ounces not really that heavy for a [HOW THE PIECE OF GEAR WILL BE USED].

I see myself using the [BRAND] [MODEL OF GEARfor many [LIST OF FUTURE TRIP TYPES THAT I PROBABLY WON’t TAKE BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY USING ALL MY FREE GEAR AT THE LOCAL DOG PARK INSTEAD].

An excellent [TYPE OF GEAR] and a [TYPE OF GEAR] that should suit many people well.

9 thoughts on “Mad Libs – Gear review edition

  1. Love this! I’m so tired of reading these types of reviews as well. Once you’ve read one, you’ve read them all. I wish people weren’t so afraid to say something negative. I won’t review anything I haven’t used for at least a full season.

  2. You are so (cynical). I think that these reviews provide a (valuable service) to people with too much (money) who think that they need lots of (gimcracks) in order to spend time doing what they love in the great (REI). I for one would never buy a (folding titanium spork) without reading an (insipid) description of it’s (tensile) strength.

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